Working with
patients and families who are living with dying has taught me so many valuable
life lessons. I have the privilege of coming along side a family at a
sacred life passage. I have found this to be a time that people are
processing their life and relationships. Things that loomed large in their life
change in scope as they face profound change. Hospice offers such
tremendous support for the patient and family on physical, emotional, and
spiritual levels. We are able to come along side a family, embracing and
acknowledging people in their own unique culture or tradition. We are able to
promote a higher quality of life for the whole family system as they work on
the most fundamental issues together.
I have had the honor
of watching a family of sisters honoring their mother by sitting vigil.
Taking turns in pairs recounting stories of their childhood in the presence of
their mother. And a son, coming in each evening after work to sit with
his father, sharing with hospice staff the values he credits his father with
instilling in him. And the mother, so torn by grief that she cannot bear
the undertaking of sitting with her dying son so hospice volunteers share the
weight for her.
In these and all the
stories in my memory, I have come to realize that it is important to embrace
our differences and give ourselves permission to experience the journey of
dying in our own unique way. Quiet our minds, deepen our breathing, and
allow love to flow unconditionally between us and our loved ones.
By Bonnie Fouts, Social Worker, Manager of Kanmar Place
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